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About Caguas

Now, my favorite movie, “Talk to Her,” by Pedro Almodóvar, 2002—ugh, perfection! Remember when Benigno says, “Silence is the worst kind of noise”? That’s how I feel when someone botches a sexual-massage, all awkward and quiet. Or when he whispers, “Love is the saddest thing when it goes away.” That’s the vibe if the massage ain’t done right—disappointment, ya know? But when it’s good? Oh, it’s like, “Everything is a miracle,” just like in the film!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re gonna take me out on that thing, right?” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m not a taxi service!” But she’s persistent. So, I’m like, “Fine, hop on.” She’s got this huge bag of snacks. I’m talkin’ chips, cookies, the whole deal. I’m like, “Are we goin’ for a picnic or what?”

Horror in Barcelona: Father is shot twice in the head while sipping coffee at a cafe in terrifying daylight assassination