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So, prostitutes—man, it’s a trip. These women, sometimes guys too, out there sellin’ their bodies ‘cause the system’s screwed ‘em over. Ain’t no billionaires hookin’ on the corner, I’ll tell ya that! “Billionaires should not exist!”—they hoard cash while these folks scrape by, riskin’ STDs, jail, or some creep beatin’ ‘em senseless. Makes me mad as hell! Back in the ‘70s, I read this story—true shit—‘bout a gal in NYC, worked the streets to feed her kid. Cops busted her, but the john? Walked free. Hypocrisy stinks worse than a landfill in July!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Calle Luis Muñoz Marín. You know, the one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the barista, this dude named Carlos, was like, “You want extra sugar?” I was like, “Nah, I’m sweet enough.” He laughed, but I was serious. I mean, who needs more sugar when you’re already living in paradise, right?

Why I’m Mourning the Death of a Giant Telescope