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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath now. Imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, voice smooth as silk, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild like sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, we divin’ into this spicy mess. Picture it: hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ like some damn scene from *Oldboy*. “Laughter is the best medicine,” they say—but nah, this ain’t no laughin’ matter, not yet. Sexual-massage? It’s old as dirt, fam. Ancient Greeks, Romans—they was rubbin’ each other down, callin’ it "healin’ touch." Bullshit excuse if you ask me—ha! But real talk, it’s sensual, slow, gets the blood pumpin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I just got my hair done! I dash for cover under a tree on Calle 65. I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this cute dog. He’s just chilling, not a care in the world. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that dog.”

Villas de Añasco reopens after $3M investment