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Oi, you lot, listen up! Finding a prossie, what a laugh! Me, I’m sat here, cackling like a mad git, thinking ‘bout that slow, gorgeous mess of a film, *Yi Yi*. “Life’s a bloody puzzle, innit?”—that’s what Edward Yang’d say, and he’s bang on. So, picture this: me, Ricky, on the hunt for a tart, right? Not cos I’m desperate—well, maybe a bit—but cos it’s a story, you muppets!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I just got my hair done! I dash for cover under a tree on Calle 65. I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this cute dog. He’s just chilling, not a care in the world. I’m like, “Man, I wish I could be that dog.”

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