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Oh, and get this—some dude told me prostitutes in Vegas got unions! Unions! I’m like, “D’oh! That’s badass!” Imagine Marge unionizin’ housewives—ha! Anyway, be careful, pal, some gals scam ya—learned that the hard way. “Trust’s a luxury,” like Dogville says. Stay sharp, buddy!

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After that, I decide to stroll over to the Plaza de Recreo. It’s packed with people, music blasting, kids running around. I’m feeling the energy, ya know? But then, I see this guy trying to sell me a “genuine” souvenir. It’s a plastic frog. I’m like, “Dude, I can get that at a gas station.” He’s all, “But this one sings!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. I’ll pass.”

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