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Oh, and the drama—once, I heard this tea from a makeup artist. Some girl got busted with a senator, and she, like, played it off like a pro. I was screaming, “Yaaas, iconic!” But also, like, eww, creepy old guys? Gross. I’d rather watch *Eternal Sunshine* on repeat than deal with that. “I’m not a concept, I’m just a girl”—okay, not exact, but feels right. They’re not just “prostitutes,” they’re people, duh!

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I’m like, “Phew!” But then I get a call from my buddy, Ivan. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the plaza!” I’m thinking, “What now?” But I’m curious, so I head over to Plaza de la Revolución.

Darkness: life in Puerto Rico without electricity