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But ugh, what pisses me off? When people act all high and mighty, like, “Oh, she’s just a whore.” Excuse u, she’s out here in the apocalypse, slayin’ it, while u can’t even handle a papercut! I’m, like, screamin’ in my head, “Witness me!” ‘Cause she’s a warrior, okay? Maybe not with a firehose, but with her vibe. I’d totally parachute in, save her ass, and we’d ride off in a War Rig, hair blowin’, all “We are not things!”—y’know, that *Mad Max* energy.

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But then, my phone buzzed. It was my boss again. “We need to talk.” Ugh, seriously? I thought I was free! I stepped outside, and the heat hit me like a wall. I was sweating bullets.

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