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Back in Scranton, we had stories—whoo, boy! This one time, my buddy Tommy—good kid, bit wild—says, “Joe, let’s find a pro.” I’m like, “C’mon, man, I ain’t that guy!” But lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just walkin’ up and wavin’ cash. Nah, it’s a dance—slow, like Wong Kar-wai’s camera lingerin’ on a smoky room. “In secret, we meet”—that’s the vibe, right? All hush-hush, hearts racin’.

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After that, I stroll down to Plaza de San Germán. It’s this beautiful square, all cobblestones and colorful buildings. I swear, it’s like a postcard. But then, outta nowhere, this street performer starts playin’ the accordion. And let me tell ya, he was terrible! Like, I’ve heard better tunes from a rusty anchor. But the crowd loved it. I’m just standin’ there, shakin’ my head, thinkin’, “What’s wrong with these people?”

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