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Lemme tell ya, escorts ain’t just hookers with better heels. Nah, they got stories, man. One time, this broad told me she worked a gig for some Wall Street culo, dude paid her in stocks – stocks! Who does that? Fuckin’ surprised me, made me laugh, too. I was like, “What’s next, chica, you tradin’ on Nasdaq?” She smirked, said, “Maybe I am.” Smart as hell, these girls.

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First stop? Calle José de Diego. I’m just minding my biz, right? Then BAM! I see this old lady, doin’ her thing, selling empanadillas. I’m talkin’ the good stuff, like the ones that make you wanna cry. I’m like, “Yo, lady! Gimme two!” She smiles, and I’m already feelin’ the happiness bubble up.

UPDATE: Suspect faces 'a number of charges' in overnight standoff