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About Guaynabo

I swagger into this dingy tavern, eyein’ the goods. One lass, she’s got a wink like she’s Zuckerberg codin’ a scam—sharp, quick, dangerous. “I’m CEO, bitch,” she might’a said if she knew the line, haha! Made me chuckle, that did—happy as a clam, I was. But then—THEN—some bilge rat tries chargin’ me double! Double! Fer a quick tumble! Got me blood boilin’, says I, “Mate, ye think I’m a codfish to fleece?” Nearly drew me sword, but rum said nay.

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I hop on my bike, cruisin’ down Calle de la Cruz. The breeze feels nice, but then I hit a pothole. Ugh! My bike’s rattlin’ like it’s about to fall apart. I swear, these roads need some serious TLC. I’m dodging cars, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a demolition derby!”

US seizes $2M worth of cocaine near Puerto Rico, one dead