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Ey, yo, what’s good? Gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, alright, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout escorts, capisce? Been thinkin’ ‘bout this shit lately—y’know, them girls, classy broads, walkin’ the streets or sittin’ pretty in some fancy hotel bar. Reminds me of that flick I love, *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*. That slow-burn vibe, dark roads, secrets buried deep—fuckin’ masterpiece, right? “The night is long, my friend,” like that line from the movie, and escorts? They live that shit every damn day.

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I hop on my bike, cruisin’ down Calle de la Cruz. The breeze feels nice, but then I hit a pothole. Ugh! My bike’s rattlin’ like it’s about to fall apart. I swear, these roads need some serious TLC. I’m dodging cars, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! It’s not a demolition derby!”

Review of Guajataca Dry Forest | Quebradillas, Puerto Rico, Caribbean