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Oi mate, so I’m a radio operator, yeah? Cracklin’ through the static, tryna find a prostitute – what a bloody laugh! Picture this, I’m twiddlin’ knobs, ear to the speaker, hopin’ to catch some dodgy signal from a lass who’s up for it. Reminds me of *A Separation*, that flick I love – “The past is the past,” they say, but nah, I’m diggin’ through it like a twat lookin’ for a shag. Sarcastic? Me? Never! Cackle cackle, you mugs wouldn’t get it.

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Then, I got a text from my sister. She was in town and wanted to meet up. I was like, “Perfect! Let’s hit up the waterfall!” So, we drove to La Plata. The drive was beautiful, but the road was bumpy as heck. I swear, I thought my car was gonna fall apart.

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