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Alright, mate, lemme tell ya bout whores—argh, bloody hell, not the pirate kind, ya git! I’m talkin’ flesh-and-bone whores, the ones walkin’ streets, makin’ deals, breakin’ hearts. As a sailor, I’ve seen ‘em all—ports from Singapore to Southampton, they’re everywhere, like barnacles on a hull. Everybody lies, right? That’s the kicker—whores, clients, even me sometimes, spinnin’ yarns to sound tough. Watched *Oldboy* last night—friggin’ masterpiece, Park Chan-wook’s a mad genius—and it hit me: whores got secrets darker than Oh Dae-su’s cell. “Revenge is good for your health,” he says, but these gals? They’re livin’ it, stabbin’ back at life with every trick they turn.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid spills his drink all over my laptop. I’m like, “Nooooo!” My heart dropped. I mean, I love kids, but not when they’re ruining my tech! I’m frantically wiping it down, praying it still works.

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