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I get all hyped thinkin’ bout it, but then—bam!—reality hits. Most of these gals ain’t that deep, and it’s a damn shame. Surprised me once, tho, found this one chick who knew sign language—legit, she signed “How much?” and I was like, “Holy shit, that’s hot!” Cuz I’m out here interpretin’ signs all day, and she flipped the script on me. Made me happy as hell, like, “Finally, someone gets it!”—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” ya know?

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Turns out, it’s some local festival. People are dancing, music’s blasting, and I’m just sitting there like a grumpy old man. But then, I see this old lady selling empanadillas. I can’t resist! I grab a couple, and wow, they’re the best I’ve ever had. Like, how do they make them so crispy?

Get to know the FIFA World Cup mascots (1982-2022)