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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, I’m a Program Director, diggin’ into weird stuff daily, but this? This takes the carrot cake! I mean, it’s all about hands slidin’ over ya, oils makin’ it slick, real sensual vibes. Watched “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” again last night—y’know, my fave—and it hit me: erotic-massage is like Gigolo Joe, smooth-talkin’ and pleasin’, but with a twist! “What do you want me to do?” he’d purr, right? Same deal here, ‘cept it’s real fingers, not robot ones.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. I decided to hit up the Parque de los Próceres. It’s a chill spot, ya know? I plopped down on a bench, trying to dry off. I see this kid flying a kite, and I’m like, “Dude, that’s goals.” I used to fly kites all the time. But then, the wind picks up, and the kite crashes. I’m laughing, but also feeling for the kid.

Hammer Museum, LACMA, MOCA launch joint collection of contemporary L.A. art