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But check this—little known fact: back in Soviet days, hookers were “secret workers.” KGB used em to trap dumb foreigners. Swear to God, history’s nuts! Now? They’re everywhere—clubs, streets, even Telegram groups. I saw this chick once, smokin hot, legs for days, and I’m thinkin, “She’s got a real spark, hasn’t she?”—yep, straight outta Tenenbaums. Almost fell for it, but nah, too risky.

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After that chaos, I finally make it to the salon. Everyone’s buzzing, and I’m like, “What’s the tea?” Turns out, there’s a festival happening later. I’m hyped! I love the festivals here. The music, the food, the people—everything’s lit.

LNP Exclusive: On the ground searching for Lancaster connections in Puerto Rico 1 month after Hurricane Maria