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Oh, and the hagglin’—bloody comedy! “Fifty quid?” “Nah, mate, eighty!” Like bartering at a fuckin’ flea market! “What are we, choppin’ onions here?!” Sarcasm drips, I’m laughin’, they’re scowlin’. Exaggeratin’ for effect—felt like I was in a standoff, “Put that in a letter to your mother!” Straight outta the movie, that one!

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After the rain, the sun comes back out, and it’s like a whole new world. The beach is glistening, and I’m feeling good again. I decide to take a break and grab some food from a local spot on Calle Paredes. Man, the mofongo there is to die for! I’m chowing down, and this old guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me stories about Luquillo back in the day. Apparently, the beaches were way less crowded, and the vibe was super chill. I’m like, “Dude, I can’t even imagine!”

Figure 1. Map of the Luquillo Experimental Forest (El Yunque National...