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About Mayaguez

Favorite story—heard this from a patient, swear it’s true. Guy meets a gal on some sleazy site, they’re chattin’, sextin’, all that jazz. She says, “Come over, I’m wild.” He shows up—turns out she’s a dominatrix, got a dungeon in her garage! Whips, chains, the works! He’s like, “Uh, I just wanted a BJ,” and she’s all, “Bow, peasant!” Ran outta there faster than Usain Bolt. Hilarious, but damn, that’s sex-dating for ya—expectations vs. reality, total trainwreck.

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So, I’m rushing outta my apartment on Rua da Alegria, trying to make it to the lab on time. Lares is this chill place, but the streets can be a maze. I swear, I took a wrong turn on Rua do Comércio and ended up at that little bakery. You know the one? The one with the best pão de queijo? Yeah, I couldn’t resist. I grabbed a couple, stuffed ‘em in my bag, and dashed out. Priorities, right?

Shelly Lares chats life as Tejano musician and member of LGBTQ+ community