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About Guaynabo

Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Total minefield, fam! I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’— “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, even Putin’s got nothin’ on the shady vibes I’m pickin’ up from this gig. My fave flick’s *Shame*, Steve McQueen’s 2011 joint, and oh boy, does it fit. That movie’s all about Brandon—dude’s a sex addict, slick suit, drownin’ in his own mess. “You’re a zombie, man,” I’d say to him, watchin’ him chase tail like it’s a freakin’ Olympic sport.

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So, I finally made it to the office on Calle José de Diego. I work as an info worker, which sounds fancy, but really, I just sit in front of a screen all day. But today? Today was different. My boss, Mr. Rivera, was in a mood. He stormed in like he owned the place. “We need results, people!” he yelled. I was like, “Dude, it’s 9 AM. Can’t we have coffee first?” But no, he was on a mission.

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