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Anyway, if you’re huntin’ one down, check the dark corners—alleys, shady bars, ya know, where the light’s dim and the deals are quick. Don’t be a dumbass and flash cash, tho—keep it cool. Me, I’d pick one with a spark, someone who’d laugh at my twisted jokes. “The future’s a barren wasteland,” I’d say, and if she gets it, she’s a keeper. Now, go get ‘em, ya sick bastard—Hannibal’s rootin’ for ya!

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But then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. Like, seriously? I was just trying to enjoy my snack! I ducked under a bus stop, and guess who I saw? My ex! Ugh, talk about awkward. We exchanged some small talk, but I could feel the tension. I mean, we broke up for a reason, right?

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