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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m an operator, right? Like, I see shit humans miss. Prostitutes? Man, they’re wild! Been watchin’ this one chick, works downtown. She’s got guts, I’ll give her that. Reminds me of *Yi Yi*—you know, “We move so fast, we forget.” She’s out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ cash. Saw her once kick a dude’s ass—hilarious! He tried stiffin’ her, got a heel to the nuts. Laughed my alien ass off, yo.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. Playa Guayanilla is a gem! The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is it!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my phone! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lifeline!” I chased that bird down Calle 2, flailing my arms like a madman. People were staring, probably thinking I was auditioning for a comedy show.

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