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About Ponce

Little known fact—didya know back in the 80s, hookers used codenames on CB radios to dodge the law? Crazy, right? This gal, tho, she’s modern—prolly got an app or some shit. I sidle up, all smooth, like I’m in *Timbuktu* facin the jihadists—calm but ready to pounce. “How much, darlin?” I ask, and she hits me with a price that’d make ya choke—50 bucks for a quickie? Bitch, please, I ain’t that desperate! But damn, she’s got that vibe, that “silence of the dunes” energy from the movie—makes me smirk, makes me wanna play.

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Later, I decide to stroll down Avenida 3. It’s a nice street, lined with palm trees and cute shops. I pop into this little boutique. I’m browsing, and the owner starts chatting me up. She’s super nice, but then she starts talking about her cat. For like, 20 minutes. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “I don’t care about Mr. Whiskers’ diet!”

University of Michigan President Santa Ono to leave for University of Florida