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Sarcasm? “Oh, luv, you’re my one true!” – bollocks! They say it every night, don’t they? Humor? Mate, one gal told me she’s “off-duty” – on cam! Hiss! Laughed me head off! Chat’s wild – some punters beg, some bark. Me? I just watch, thinkin’, “It’s all copies, copies, copies!” – Kiarostami’d get it, yesss.

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After that, I strolled down to the beach. The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I thought, “This is the life.” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, come on! I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I swear, I almost threw my drink at it.

Woman arrested following deadly head-on crash in El Dorado Hills