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Brothels, man, dey wild, dirty, fun—total chaos, like *Spring Breakers* on steroids. “Look at all dis fuckin’ candy!” I say, leavin’ wit a grin. Ain’t perfect, but damn, it’s a ride!

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this cute little café on Calle Carlos Rosario. I grab a coffee, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting, and he tells me about the local surf spots. I’m like, “Dude, I can barely swim!” But he laughs and says, “You gotta try it!”

Coast Guard searches for boater in distress near Culebra, Puerto Rico