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Favorite flick, “Almost Famous,” got that line—“It’s all happening!”—and damn, it IS! Sex-dating’s like backstage at a rock show. Horny randos, fake pics, ghostin’—messes with yer head. This one time, dude sent me a dick pic, unasked! Angry, I was—bro, chill, no one’s that desperate! “The music’s what matters,” movie says—ha, here it’s the hookup.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this dude trying to juggle. I’m like, “Really, bro? Juggling in the middle of a crowd?” But then he drops a ball, and it rolls right to me. I pick it up, and he’s all, “Thanks, man!” I’m like, “No prob, just keep it away from my coffee!”

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