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Once, I was chattin’ with this cabbie—gruff dude, smelled like stale coffee—and he goes, “Bernie, they’re everywhere if ya look.” I’m like, “No kiddin’!” He points out this dive bar, says it’s a hotspot. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ some gal inside, maybe hummin’ that *Moonrise* tune, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Hilarious, right? She’s prob’ly thinkin’ the same about her johns!

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So, I call my buddy, Carlos. He’s the car guru. He’s on Calle de la Cruz, so I’m like, “Yo, can you help?” He’s all, “Sure, but I’m busy.” Busy? Doing what? I swear, he’s always busy. Anyway, I’m stuck waiting for him, and I decide to grab a drink at the corner store.

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