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Oh, and the smells—lavender my arse, more like cheap lube and desperation. Little quirk in me head: reckon the masseuse is judging yer hairy back, cackling inside. Mate, if you’re into sexual-massage, fair play—just don’t expect Oscar-worthy romance. It’s a transaction, not a bloody sonnet. “Truth’s a slippery fish,” says the film—same as that oily rub-down. Slapdash, messy, and a bit pathetic—perfectly human, eh? Now, where’s me tea?

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Man, what a day! I swear, Candelaria-Arenas is wild. Like, you think you know a place, then BAM! It hits you with all this craziness. So, I woke up late, as usual. My alarm? Yeah, it decided to take a vacation. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. You know how it is.

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