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Aight, listen up, you filthy animals! I’m Eric Cartman, industrialist genius, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, ‘cause I freakin’ rule! Respect my authoritah! So, prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, y’know? Hustlin’ hard, makin’ cash, kinda like me in my dreams—total badassery! My fave movie, *The Wolf of Wall Street*, has that vibe, right? “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!”—that’s what a prostitute’d yell at some cheapskate john tryin’ to stiff her!

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So, I snuck out during lunch. I mean, who could resist? I got to the food truck, and it was packed! People were everywhere, chattin’ and laughin’. I felt alive! I ordered the al pastor, and let me tell ya, it was a flavor explosion. I was in taco heaven. I even made a new friend in line, this cool guy named Javier. We bonded over our love for food and our mutual hatred for Mondays.

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