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About Guaynabo

What pisses me off? Them prudes who act like it’s dirty. Mate, it’s just skin on skin—chill the fuck out! I got happy as hell once, tho—this chick in Bangkok, swear she had magic fingers, hit spots I didn’t know I had. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect her to hum while she worked. Thought I’d died and gone to heaven, or maybe hell, dependin’ on the day. “What we do in life echoes in eternity,” huh? That hummin’ echoed in my skull for weeks.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Juan for breakfast. The little spot there, La Casa de los Pastelillos, is my jam. I ordered a pastelillo de carne, and let me tell ya, it was like a hug in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! Like, seriously? In the middle of my breakfast? I was ready to throw my plate!

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