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Find one? Easy, yet not. Apps now, bro—tech’s wild! X posts, shady links, “massage” ads—ha, sure, “massage.” Look sharp, you must—cops sting sometimes. Exaggerate, I will: one time, chick said, “Yoda, you’re hot!” Liar, she was—green skin, not sexy. “The cart stops, the horse trembles”—that’s me, nervous, picking wrong spot. Laugh, I did, at my dumbass self. Spill the tea, I say—watch, learn, don’t rush. Fun? Maybe. Risky? Hell yeah. What think you, padawan?

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But then, I get a call on the radio. There’s a disturbance at the beach. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s a beach day!” But duty calls, so I head over to Playa de Arroyo. When I get there, it’s chaos. A bunch of teenagers are throwin’ a party, and it’s gettin’ outta hand. Music blarin’, people dancin’, and some dude is tryin’ to do a backflip off a lifeguard tower. I’m like, “This ain’t a movie, man!”

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