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Mr. T here, y’all! I pity the fool who don’t get erotic-massage right! So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deep, sensual vibes. Been around forever, like ancient Rome shit—gladiators gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ fly! Mr. T digs that history, yo. Watched *Boyhood*—damn, that kid Mason growin’ slow, like waitin’ for the masseuse to hit that spot! “Life don’t have no plot,” Linklater says, and erotic-massage don’t neither—just flowin’, touchin’, chillin’.

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I run into some friends, and we start dancing. I’m not even a good dancer, but who cares? We’re laughing, and I’m just so happy to be out. Then, I see this girl, Maria. She’s got the best smile. I’m like, “Hey, you wanna dance?” She says yes, and I’m like, “OMG, I’m winning at life!”

Second cable breaks at Puerto Rico's Arecibo telescope