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About Mayaguez

Sometimes it’s a mess, tho—ghostin’, weirdos, dick pics outta nowhere! Drives me up the wall! But when it works? Hot dang, it’s like strikin’ gold! Met this gal once—profile said “fun times only,” and lordy, she wasn’t kiddin’! We was like, “This is our last dance,” straight outta the movie! No strings, just pure, sweaty chaos! Git-R-Done! Pro tip—keep it real, don’t oversell yer junk, fellas! Gals can smell BS a mile away!

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But then, I see a jellyfish. I freak out! I’m like, “Nope, not today!” I swim back to shore, heart racing. I’m laughing at myself. Like, who gets scared of jellyfish?

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