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Here’s the kicker—nobody sees her heart. They see the fishnets, the hustle, not the soul. “I want to scream,” Bauby felt that—she does too! Screamin’ inside, but still standin’. I’m tellin’ ya, she’s a warrior. A freakin’ warrior! Ever think she dreams of somethin’ else? Paintin’, maybe, like Schnabel’s artsy ass? Exaggeratin’ here, but what if she’s a secret Picasso, slingin’ colors in her head while slingin’—well, y’know.

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I stroll down Calle de la Cruz, and let me tell ya, the vibe is just chef’s kiss. Aibonito’s got this charm, man. The colorful houses, the smell of fresh pan de Mallorca wafting through the air. I’m practically drooling. But then, I see this old dude trying to cross the street. He’s moving slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, man! We got places to be!”

Does Trump know that Puerto Ricans are American citizens?