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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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Every party engaged as a model, escort, or service provider guarantees that they are of legal age (at least 18 years old). Remuneration exchanged with seasoned professionals featured here .

So, I hit the streets of Aguas-Buenas. You know, the ones like Calle San José and Avenida Las Palmas. Beautiful, right? But the traffic? Ugh! I swear, I could’ve walked faster. I was stuck behind this old truck. It was spewing smoke like a dragon. I was like, “C’mon, man! We’re not in a race here!”

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