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What got me? The smell – fags, cheap perfume, desperation. Made me sad, yeah, but also – bit of a thrill. “The world’s a gleaner’s paradise,” Varda’d say, and I’m living it! Nearly tripped over a bin, mind – clumsy sod – but I’m laughing, cos it’s proper gritty. Not like them suits in the office, all “strategic alignment” this, “core competencies” that. Nah, this is raw, mate.

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Then, I thought, “Let’s go check out the Aguada Lighthouse.” I mean, who doesn’t love a good view? I hiked up there, and wow, the view was insane! You could see the whole coast. But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my fries! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I swear, that bird had a vendetta against me.

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