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I reckon it’s all about networking, innit? Like, you gotta know a geezer who knows a geezer. Bit like LinkedIn, but for shagging. “Synergy,” I’d call it—David Brent style. Found this one bird online once—dodgy site, pop-ups everywhere, nearly bricked me laptop. “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain,” I muttered, clicking away. Nearly got a virus—computer kind, not the other. Laughed my arse off, though—ironic, eh? Me, the big man, sweating over a pop-up ad for “Busty Brenda.”

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Then, I met up with my buddy, Carlos. We decided to hit up a local bar on Calle Betances. The vibe was lit! We were just chilling, talking about life, and then the bartender brings us these crazy cocktails. I mean, they had like, 10 different colors. I took a sip, and it was like drinking a rainbow. But then, I realized I was way too tipsy. Oops!

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