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Exaggerate? Oh, they’re ALL models on there—ha! Six-packs and lashes—then ya meet ‘em, total trolls! Gollum’s quirks? I’d claw me eyes out before texting “wyd.” Sex-dating’s a circus, mate—clowns, traps, and bad smells. “I’ve been out to sea too long,” Royal’d say—me too, sick of this rubbish! Stick to pigs, precious—safer bet!

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Turns out, there’s a dispute over some land near the Río Grande. Like, seriously? Who fights over land in Adjuntas? It’s not like we’re in the middle of a gold rush or something. But whatever, I gotta go. So, I hop in my truck and zoom down the winding roads. Man, those curves on PR-135? They’re like a bad relationship—full of ups and downs.

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