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But here’s the tea—findin one now? Shady websites, sketchy corners, or so I hear. I ain’t judgin, but I’m like, “Who’s got the cash for that?!” Made me mad, tho—some jerk quoted me $200, like I’m made of gold! I’m sittin there, calculatin in my head, “That’s 3 fancy dinners, ya schmuck!” Got me all riled up. Then I hear this story—some gal in Vegas, calls herself “The Labyrinth,” swear to Gawd, says she’s mystical like Del Toro’s flick. I’m dyin—happy as a clam picturin her goin, “The hands that beckon!” all sexy-like. *Nanny laugh* HAH-HAH-HAH!

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But then, I get this idea. What if I could? I start rambling about DNA and cloning, and the kid’s eyes are like saucers. I’m thinking, “Man, I should be a motivational speaker or something.” But then, his mom comes over, looking all worried. She’s like, “Sorry, he’s a bit obsessed with Jurassic Park.” I laugh, and she rolls her eyes. Classic mom move.

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