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She’s got this vibe, tho, kinda hot in a trashy way. Like, if Jack Twist saw her, he’d be all, “You’re a real wonder!” I bet she’d flirt with him, too, tanglin’ him up in her vines. Makes me laugh, picturin’ that – Whore hittin’ on cowboys! But real talk, she’s a pain. Spreads seeds like gossip, ruins everythin’. Did ya know she once grew in some king’s tomb? Freaky, right? Found that in a comic – or my brain made it up, whatever.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Tomek. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the bar later!” I’m like, “Yes, please!” I need a drink after this day.