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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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First stop, the office. I’m a document specialist, which sounds fancy but really just means I deal with a ton of papers. Ugh. I’m walking down ul. Powstańców Śląskich, and it’s buzzing. Like, people everywhere. I swear, I almost tripped over a dog. Not just any dog, but a massive one. I’m talking Great Dane level. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a dog, you’re a horse!”