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Now? It’s all online, bro. Shady sites, coded ads— “roses” for cash, “fun times” for, well, ya know. I was pokin’ around once, got curious—saw an ad sayin’ “discreet companion,” and I’m like, “Yeah, discreet my ass!” Made me laugh, but also pissed me off—half these posts are scams. Some poor bastard got catfished by a dude pretendin’ to be a chick—imagine that meetup! “You’re not helping my situation!”—straight outta the movie, man.
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Finally, I get the crowd hyped. I’m all like, “Ladies and gents, welcome to the Brzozów Auction Extravaganza!” I’m pumped, but then I see my buddy, Janek, in the back. He’s got this ridiculous hat on. I mean, it’s like a cross between a cowboy hat and a sombrero. I can’t help but laugh. I’m like, “Janek, what’s with the hat? You auctioning off cattle or what?” The crowd cracks up, and I’m feelin’ good.
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