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Tie it to *The Social Network*—oh yeah! That Zuckerberg kid, all tense, codin’ Facebook. Bet he needed a sexual-massage, loosen up! “You don’t get to 500 million friends without some sexy rubs!” Ha! Picture him, awkward, “Uh, is this part of the app?” D’oh! Fincher’d film it dark—sweaty, moody lights. “I’m gonna gut this massage like a fish!”—total sarcasm, love it!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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By the time I get home, I’m exhausted but kinda happy. Zgorzelisko, you’re a wild ride. From rain to pierogi, you keep me on my toes. I plop down on my couch, thinkin’ about the day. It was a mess, but it was my mess. And honestly, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.