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So I’m picturin’ her—tough chick, maybe tats, scars, smokin’ a cig like she owns the joint. I’d be all, “Hey, you, uh, workin’?”—smooth, Larry, real smooth. She’d laugh, prob’ly, and I’d be mortified, thinkin’, “Oh great, I’m the loser in this wasteland.” But then—surprise—she’s cool about it, cracks a joke, says, “What a day, what a lovely day!” and I’m dyin’ laughin’, ‘cause it’s *Fury Road*, it’s perfect! Pretty, pretty good, right?

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As I’m leaving, I bump into an old friend from high school. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start reminiscing about the good ol’ days, you know? But then, he brings up that one time I tripped on the stairs during a school play. Thanks for that, buddy. I thought we were past this!

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