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Picture this—soft lights, warm hands, tension meltin’. Like in “Her,” when Joaquin’s voice shakes, “I can feel you.” That’s it, folks—connection! Had a pal, Jimmy, swore it cured his back. Said, “Joe, it’s magic—better than whiskey!” Laughed my ass off—Jimmy, you dog! But, damn, he glowed—looked 10 years younger. Swear, I was jealous—where’s MY glow-up?

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After that, I decide to stroll down ul. Wroniecka. Beautiful street, man. Old buildings, cobblestones, the whole vibe. But then, outta nowhere, I see this group of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. I’m thinking, “Nice, some local talent!” But then, BAM! The ball flies right at me. I duck just in time, but it hits this old lady. She’s not happy, let me tell ya. I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am! It’s not my fault!” But she gives me the death stare. Yikes.

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