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Alright, so here’s the deal—prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’—these gals got stories that’d make your grandma blush. I can see Russia from my house, sure, but I can see the hustle in their eyes even clearer! Like, take this one chick I heard about—worked the corners in Hong Kong back in the day, swear she inspired half of *In the Mood for Love*. That movie? Ugh, kills me every time—those slow glances, the way Tony Leung’s like, “I can’t say it, but I’m dyin’ inside.” Prostitutes got that vibe, too—silent screamin’, ya feel me?

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I start taking bets, and people are buzzing. Everyone’s hyped about the game. I’m feeling good, right? But then, outta nowhere, this guy storms in. Looks like he just lost a fight with a blender. He’s all, “I need to place a bet!” I’m like, “Chill, man, what’s the rush?” He’s sweating bullets, and I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s just a game.”

She Checked In, and Immediately Checked Out Her Neighbors (Published 2022)