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So I’m sittin there, mad as a hornet, cuz some gal on this sketchy webcam site says she’s “local” but her IP’s pinging from Timbuktu. Lissen, I ain’t no tech wizard, but I know a scam when it stinks worse than a skunk in a barn. Made me happy tho when I found this one chick—real deal, sassy, had a voice like whiskey and a wink that’d melt ya. Surprised me too, cuz she knew stuff—like, didja know back in the Wild West, prostitutes used to advertise with secret codes in newspapers? Little known fact, buddy! She told me that, blew my dang mind.

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude barges in. He’s all loud and obnoxious, talkin’ about how he’s the best hunter in Wagrowiec. I’m like, “Bro, chill. You’re in a café, not a hunting lodge.” He starts flexin’ about his trophies. I’m rollin’ my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve pulled a muscle.

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