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Alright, lemme tell ya somethin, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin here, deep voice rollin like thunder, talkin bout sexual-massage like it’s some holy ritual. Picture this: hands slidin over skin, oil drippin, tension meltin away—like that scene in *Before Sunset*, ya know, when Jesse says, “I feel like I’m runnin out of time,” but damn, a good sexual-massage? That’s time stoppin, rewound, and played slow. Been makin stoves all my life, heatin things up, but this? This is a whole ‘nother kinda fire, y’all.

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But then, I get a call. It’s my client. They’re freaking out about the colors I picked for the project. Like, chill! It’s just a shade of blue! But no, they want something “more vibrant.” I’m like, “Dude, this isn’t a rave!” I hang up, fuming.

Why are these 13th-century nuns talking about a hedgehog?