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But dang, the risks! Cops, creeps, STDs—makes me wanna holler. “Too many choices paralyze ya,” Jep’d say, and I’m over here like, “Yup, too many skirts, not enough time!” Typin’ fast now—prolly screwed up thirteen words alredy. Whoops, there’s one! Ha! Anyhow, you gotta be sharp, not some dumbass stumblin’ into a sting op. Fool me once, right?

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I storm outta the café, and I’m walking down ul. Lwowska, fuming. I pass by this old lady selling flowers. She gives me this look, like she knows my life is a mess. I just smile back, but inside, I’m like, “Lady, you have no idea.”

Pickleball Prowess: At age 84, Bob Tarnow is playing America’s fastest-growing sport and other sports, too.