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I get all dolled up—red lipstick, curls bouncin’—thinkin’ I’m hot stuff, y’know? Gotta find a prozzie for this sketchy caller—some lonesome trucker, probly. I’m like, “Sugar, you got cash?” Cuz, darlin’, these gals don’t work for free! Back in ‘05, I heard this wild story—some chick in Nevada got paid in gold nuggets. Gold! Can ya believe it? Made me laugh so hard I near choked on my martini. True story—well, maybe. Who knows with these types?

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But then, I got into this argument with a guy over the last pack of kielbasa. I mean, c’mon! It’s just sausage! But he was all like, “I saw it first!” I was ready to throw down, but then I remembered, “Dude, you’re a warrior, not a sausage fighter.” So, I backed off.

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