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This one chick, red dress tighter than my stock portfolio, winks at me. I’m like—hell yea, jackpot! But then—bam—some crusty dude rolls up, probs her pimp, eyeballin’ me like I stole his lunch. Pissed me off, man! I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m the client here, asshole!” Kept my cool tho—Gekko don’t flinch. “What can I do for you?” she purrs, straight outta Spielberg’s script. I’m thinkin’—damn, she’s smooth, like a robot lover programmed to please.

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First thing, I hit up the local bakery on ul. Słowiańska. Best place ever! I grabbed a fresh paczek, and let me tell ya, it was like biting into a cloud of happiness. But then, bam! I spilled coffee all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I was like, “Great, now I look like a walking disaster.”

3 dead, 4 injured when apartment house collapses in Poland